Party Radar: Hey, ghoul. It’s Monster Mash time.

You know what’s scary? How cuddly and safe Halloween has become now that the world itself is so terrifying. As some of us emerge zombie-like from our COVID cocoons, remember to slow down and be kind to other shades and ghosts. It’s San Francisco’s favorite holiday (associated with Día de los Muertos on November 2, of course), and I can’t wait for all the good humor to kick in.

You’ll find plenty of bloody party picks below, but there’s concerts here, a hilarious show here, and, hey, the SF Symphony is playing music from Frankenstein and psychology. Plus, even the walking dead need snacks – head to the Harvest Festival at Ferry Plaza Farmer’s Market on Saturday the 29th, 9am-2pm, to sample some jaw-droppingly good food from businesses owned by Blacks, with cooking demonstrations and more.

THE WHOLE WEEK!

Thick

WED/26

THICCTEASE: BADDIES—A HALLOWEEN BURLESQUE SHOW Voluptuous entertainers to kick off your Halloween week, with haunting performances from Sylvia Wrath, Luci DeVille, AmberLust, Panther and other boo-tiful Bay Area babes. 7 p.m., Oasis, SF. More info here.

Dulce de Leche

THU/27

KARAOKI COSTUME “Karaoke with your girlfriend Dulce de Leche” – in costume! Put on something and howl at the moon on the back patio of El Rio with a sassy drag queen. 9 p.m., El Rio, SF. More info here.

LITERARY SPEAKEASY PRESENTS: MARTINI BAR OF HORRORS “It’s time again to celebrate the things that happen in the night. Join us for a macabre evening of haunted prose and ghostly stories with some of the Bay Area’s best horror, sci-fi and genre writers. Literary Speakeasy’s Martini Bar of Horrors is proud to feature writers Casey Bennett, Kevin Dublin, Jay Hartlove, Ken Hueler and Sumiko Saulson. Your host and curator each month is James J. Siegel. It’s free! 7 p.m., Martin’s, SF. More info here.

THU/27-SAT/29: DUSK TO DAWN: MIDNIGHT CARNIVAL Despite or because of the chronological confusion of its name, this extravaganza will explode across time and space (the Midway) with three nights of all-star Burning Man and old-school rave favorites including Stanton Warriors, Beats Antique, Funk Hunters, Opel, and more. The Midway, SF. More info here.

FRI/28

HORROR STORY: PSYCHO DELIC Two of SF’s brilliant gay party crews – Mystopia and Polyglamorous – join forces to immerse you in a costume ball frenzy of house music, with energetic special guests DJ N2N and Rosa Peligrosa and gore-geous decor. (It’s sold online but there will be a limited number of tixes at the door.) 10 p.m.-3 a.m., Public Works, SF. More info here.

BOOOOTIE MASHUP HALLOWEEN This freakishly good and wildly creative celebration of costumes takes you back to the golden age of the early 2000s of smashing two great songs together to create something new. Come for the raucous soundtrack and stick around for drag performances and a costume contest with cash prizes. Yes, there will be a lot of pirates. 10 p.m., Oasis, SF. More info here.

THE EVE OF ALL HALLOWE Halloween is DNA Lounge’s time to shine, and this extravaganza kicks things off for them. “indie. popular. synthwave. dark electronic. gothic. techno. electro. breaks. Featuring DJs Danny Delorean, Asuka, Star and a dozen others, plus a costume contest and loads of fun. 9 p.m.-afterhours, DNA Lounge, SF. More info here.

THE DAWN OF DISKO Shake your ghoul thing as DJs Meikee Magnetic, Lisa Rose, Nile and The Barbary Ghost provide the soundtrack to an evening that includes a midnight couture ‘dark couture’ fashion show. If you don’t feel like dancing, you’ll also find retro horror movie screenings and karaoke rooms. 9-2 a.m., Record Bar, SF. More info here.

WORM HALLOWEEN Skeleton bass and spooky psychedelic visuals are the top priority at this spooky festival of wiggy electronic music, taking over the massive Great Northern club with DJs Shlump, DMVU, Saka and more. 10 p.m.-3 a.m., Great Northern, SF. More info here.

SAT/29

RISE OF THE PHOENIX BALLOON You better get to work, witch. It’s a Halloween-style ball worthy of the Queens of the Damned, who battle it out in several spooky categories for cash prizes of up to $1,000 to the fierce ballroom sound of DJ Spiider. Iconic Dashaun Wesley, King of Vogue, host of HBO’s Legendary series and star Pose, will comment. 7 p.m.-2 a.m., all ages, Omni Commons, Oakland. More info here.

QUEERBAIT: CHELSEA MANNING That’s right, she’s a DJ, and she’s going to shake my bones on the dance floor at this Squish x Fake and Gay crew party. Plus: INVT, X3butterfly and a Club Trust takeover. 9 p.m.-4 a.m., F8, SF. More info here.

GLOW IN THE STREETS 2022 Officially, Halloween is dead at the Castro (which hardly prevents anyone from gathering there). But this alternative evening to the crazy nights of yesteryear is sweet and perfect. Bring the whole family for fun and “lose yourself in a wonderland of art dayglo + dancing in the streets of the Castro”. 4-9:30 p.m., Noe and Market Sts., SF. More info here.

EO Some of my favorite local techno DJs – Five, Trevor Sigler and DickDream – performed at Underground SF for the scary kids. 9 p.m.-2 a.m., SF. More info here.

FUNK HALLOWEEN SWEATER Awww, how can something so comfortable be so scary? The long-running funk-centric party invites you to put on your Oogie Boogie shoes (and costume) and come murder the dance floor. Free! 9-2 a.m., Starline Social Club, Oakland. More info here.

NIGHTMARE ON SIXTH STREET DJs Dustin Zahn, Centric, Lindsey Herbert, Max Gardner and more bring horribly good, costume-ripping techno to Monarch. 9 p.m.-late, Monarch, SF. More info here.

HAUNTED HOEDOWN SPACE COWBOYS A Halloween party becomes even more terrifying when it’s hosted by one of Burning Man’s biggest camps. The Space Cowboys round up Left/Right, Airpusher and dozens of other funky techno DJs at the Great Northern club for this holiday hootenanny. 10 p.m.-3 a.m., Great Northern, SF. More info here.

SAT/29-MON/31: HELL HOLE: A THREE-NIGHT HALLOWEEN PARTY AT CLUB OASIS This three-issue Halloween extravaganza features aerials, fire dancers, a midnight drag spectacular, a rooftop maze, and a demonic setting only the gay witches and wizards of Club Oasis could pull off. Of course, there will be stars: Vander Von Odd, Jaida Essence Hall and a basket of local queens. 10 p.m., Oasis SF. More info here.

SUN/30

BEN KLOCK: KLOCKWORK ORANGE HALLOWEEN This event is so perfectly themed, I don’t know what else to say about it? Berlin’s super fun techno legend Ben Klock at a Clockwork Orange party. So. Here it is. 10 p.m.-4 a.m., Halcyon, SF. More info here.

SUNSET HALLOWEEN BOAT PARTY A sci-fi tradition! Sunset boys Galen and Solar load up a killer lineup on the boat – acid kings Paranoid London live, slinky house hero Kim Ann Foxman, Brit Bruno Schmidt, plus local legends OMG Spacetime Continuum (featuring offspring Cah Sel) and his own Infinite Flower for a synth session. AND THEN an after party with the incredible Ivan Smagghe and the Werd Crew. Dooooo that! 6pm-11pm + afterparty, more details here.

SUNDAY SESSION! CLUB PANSY X CALL BACK El Rio’s back patio will host “spooky ookie ookie” for this daytime party, with music from DJs Club Pansy and Call Back, a good spooky drag of Obsidian Obsurd and Nitrix Oxide, go-gos ghouls Black Woman Is God and Denise Latke, and more. 3-8 p.m., El Rio, SF. More info here.

SLEAZE PRESENTS: SISSIES FOR SATAN! A rock ‘n roll scarecrow on this afternoon of sordid sounds with DJs Knob Goblin and C’est Jille, taking you down the highway to hell at the Junior bar. Performance by Lola Lewd. 3-8 p.m., Junior, SF. More info here.

GAWDZILLAH I love it – a low-key, queer Halloween party that sounds like a hoot and a half, with a costume contest, beats by Juan and Jason Mitchell, photos of Kennedy, tarot reading by Leo and the mistress ceremonial Natalie Mark. Rawr! 1 p.m., SF Oasis. More info here.

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